Experience is the best teacher

I was thinking back about the first time that I landed in US. That has to be the scariest day in my life, hands down. That day I felt most lonely and vulnerable in my life. I decided to do my masters in US and after everything was done, including flight tickets, I was scared. I was going to a foreign country, to a foreign city where I knew not even a single soul. I was leaving everyone I loved back in India. I remember the day I was supposed to fly.

My potential roomie asked me to meet her at the airport. She was a proper psycho, a detailed post on her later on. Everyone had come to the airport, my parents, my aunts, uncles and my cousins. I felt so miserable that day. I regretted the decision to go to US. I kept blaming myself for making this horrible decision. How could I leave all these people who loved and cared for me so much?! How was I going to manage all alone in some foreign country? Probably I made a wrong decision and I kept repenting as I entered the secured area, leaving behind all those who mattered for me.

My roomie, once we entered the airport started acting weird. She did not wait for me at any counter. She just kept rushing as if she doesn’t care if I go with her. I was kind of surprised at her behavior since she was the one who asked me to join her in the flight. I wanted a companion since I was flying all alone for the first time in my life. Once I was at the gate, I called my mom. My mom was in tears. She said my uncle overheard what this roomie’s mom was telling others. My mom said “she is going to leave you behind. Don’t trust her. Take care of yourselves.” Everyone was scared that I had to manage everything alone. All these days they somehow convinced themselves that I had a roomie who was flying with me.

After boarding the flight, I realized that she had even gotten her seat number changed. She did not even sit next to me in the flight. Fine. I can manage on my own. Once I was at the LA airport, I had no idea where to go. I walked outside and saw people waiting to receive others. OOPS! I turn behind and see the board “once you exit, you cannot enter”. I requested an officer and told him that I had another flight to board. He was sweet and led me to the right door. I really thought I would never reach my university. Somehow I made it to the gate. While at the gate, I met some guys who were also going to my university.

One of them – S, was very sweet and helped me a lot. Once we were on the plane, we chatted and I found out that the ISA were coming to pick him up. I was ready to go with them, since I did not trust this girl even a bit. She would leave me whenever she felt like. When we landed, this girl came straight to me and wanted me to go with her. A senior had come to pick her. I reluctantly went with her, as I had no other choice. I had put my belief in this girl and had no idea she will turn into a double-headed snake like this. This was my biggest mistake. I put my faith in the wrong person, right from the beginning.

After reaching senior’s house, I got to know that she had planned to take in another girl as her roomie. She wanted to kick me out. Lot of things happened and eventually, the three of us ended up becoming roomies. I roped in couple of my other friends too and we took an apt. Fast forward few months, this girl was kicked out of our house by my other roomies. She was simply horrible. Not even a single person could tolerate her. So finally, this roomie with whom she was supposed to live with ended up becoming my roomie. And we lived happily for 2 years as roomies.

These incidents did open my eyes. Until these incidents happened, I used to look at the world with rose-tinted glasses. I thought everyone in this world was good. I never knew there were people who would not think twice before backstabbing you or cheating you. Now I have transformed from a timid girl to a brave girl. Brave girl who can face anyone in this world. I would joke saying that I can stay alone on a marooned island and survive. I can do something on my own in this world. I am not scared of flying alone to any place in this world, I think. I still cry a lot, but I have the courage to face the world.

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14 thoughts on “Experience is the best teacher

  1. There are reasons why perfectly normal people (which is what everyone is, during birth) become psychos/terrible personalities. Life has perhaps been harder with them, than with us? Maybe they are not equipped to deal with adversities, as well as we are? I mean, No one volunteers to become a psycho, right?

    When people want to do/do something bad for us, it is normal that we either want to ignore them (my favorite reaction) or we want to give it back to them in kind. When we feel threatened, we might easily be tempted to become ruthless. There’s nothing wrong with it. After all, we are reacting to others’ actions/words.

    But if we put ourselves in their shoes and think from their point of view, we might empathize with them. I am not trying to justify their actions, which could clearly be wrong.

    I am just saying that some form of emotional support / professional counselling might bring these people back into track. It may not happen overnight, but it’s possible.

    In the meanwhile, empathizing with others’ problems also gives us peace of mind. We won’t be thinking again and again about ‘How cruel that person was/is’ and waste our time, as well.

    Destination Infinity

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    • That’s true DI. Sometimes people act like a psycho for some reason. But I don’t understand this idea of going out of the way to seek revenge. If she had some problems with me, she could have just told me. I would have left her alone and probably found some other girl. She did not have to make me believe that she was there for me and then take revenge after going to a foreign country. She made me feel helpless and lonely. God knows what satisfaction she felt!

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  2. I will always treasure the one year I spent in UK for my higher studies. No matter how loving a family one has back at home, living by oneself in a foreign country will teach so many things that a life cocooned with family never would. Moreover one learns to appreciate what one left back home and used to take for granted. It’s an experienced to be cherished.

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  3. I always believe that staying in a hostel teaches us a lot. The intial days are always painful but the lessons we learn are for life. We start judging people, we fall and realise how bad can people be and then when others support us we also realise how good ppl can be. Part n parcel of life!!!

    ANy idea where that girl is now?

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    • Very true. Initial days are bad but we learn a lot from staying alone.
      She is now happily married and is in a different city. She tried to patch up with me and sent couple of friend requests. I politely rejected them and never spoke to her again even once after she left our house.

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  4. So eventually it all ended well and that is what matters. It is always good to have someone you know in a foreign land. But sometimes, that same acquaintance can come in your way of making other friends – if they behave like a ninny and be too possessive. If you look at it that way, this girl actually helped you look at things in a different way.
    Did you give your blog a makeover or is this my first visit here? It looks nice. 🙂

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    • yep it did end on a good note. And yes, she did help me in an indirect manner.
      If I am not wrong, you have visited my blog. I recently moved my blog from wordpress.com (wrote under the name : Stung under the splendor of a crazy thought) to this self-hosted blog and changed the blog name too 🙂

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  5. Psycho is the right word, indeed. What was wrong with her? Why did she have to make it so hard for you? Sigh. Was glad to read the happy ending, though… 🙂 Nice roomies are the best 😀

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  6. The human mind is an interesting thing. When we put our hand on fire or grab an electric fence, or pinch a random girl’s cheeks, what’s left of us tends to not want to do that anymore. We learn from our mistakes. Some people learn by asking questions. Some people learn by observation. Some people learn by reading. Some people learn by from other’s experiance. Some people learn by watching TV. Some people learn just when it’s too late. And then there are those who just punch a tiger in the face. Sometimes experiance doesn’t help us at all.

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