Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

I finally got hold of “Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and finished reading it in one sitting. I was not sure if it would be helpful to me considering how I am trying to a raise a boy. But I could not be more wrong. There are many points that she makes which are relevant to boys too. Whether you are raising a boy or a girl, do read this book. I loved it. I think every parent in this world should read this book.
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Avoiding conflict

I have always disliked conflicts. I try hard to please people, to not make enemies out of others and want to be friendly with anyone and everyone. And this has been the cause of my doom. People take me for granted, think that no matter how much they harm me, I am going to silently tolerate every crap they throw at me. I am at a point in my life where I dislike this quality of mine. I would like to stand up for my own beliefs and not have my mom stand up for my sake and take a bad name. Every time I face an issue, I run to my mom and make her fix things for me. In the process, she takes a bad name. I wish I had the courage to stand up for myself and tell the person directly about what I did not like.

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Modern girl ?

Is a girl modern only if

– she chooses to sleep with any man she wants

– she wears skimpy clothes

– she hits bars and pubs and drinks

– is aware of the current fashion trends and likes wearing makeup

What if a girl

– just wants to earn her own living and not be dependent on others

– wants freedom to choose whether to be religious or not

– does not want to belong to in-laws (and let them make decisions for her) and wants to make her own decisions in life

– wants freedom to read books, watch latest movies, gossip with girlfriends and listen to western music

– does not like wearing Sarees but does not want to wear mini skirts or bikini either

– is modern in her thinking

– is modern enough to follow current musical trends or movies or books

– is a nerd and wants to study/learn instead of going to beauty parlors

– is not interested in latest fashion and makeup

– is not interested in cooking, even though elders dictate that it is her job

– is interested in gadgets, gizmos, science and technology like most men are

Is she is not a modern girl? Who is a modern girl? How do you define who is modern and who is not?

I see books based on modern women (*cough* *One Indian girl*) focusing only on her choice to choose men or her choice to drink. There is so much more to a modern girl.

One and only child

“First children tend to be a choice parents make to fulfill their own lives and a second child tends to be a choice parents make to fulfill the life of their existing child.” – from book “One and Only” by Lauren Sandler.

Ever since I became pregnant with my baby, people have been advising me about how I should plan for another kid. I am getting free advice on how my son will end up becoming lonely, selfish blah blah. I even saw women advocating other women to have more children on some mummy forums. I am an only child and I am really happy that I don’t have a sibling. I got my parents’ undivided attention, still get their complete attention and love which people with siblings don’t always get (some do get).

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Language fixation

This is something that has been there on my mind for a long time. I realized it was time to put it on the blog so that I can stop thinking about it. It usually works that way for me. This blog is like a pensieve where I dump my thoughts so that my brain can free up that much space.

What I have noticed is that almost everyone many people from India who are settled in US talk to their children (no matter how old their children are) in English. Only in English.

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Posts that I dislike

I keep reading many blogs but I rarely comment as I have to log into wordpress or blogger accounts every time I read something in order to comment. I read whenever I can squeeze in few minutes in between work. I usually leave an instant comment if your blog allows anonymous comments or does not require me to login. I usually login on a particular day and leave comments on the blogs which I liked reading from past few days. Yeah this is how I comment these days because of busy schedule.
I came across many new blogs recently and I liked some, while some I did not like. So here is a list of the kinds of articles that make me not read that blog. Usually I skip reading articles like these on most blogs. Sometimes I wonder why other people still like to read these articles.

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