‘When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife‘ by Meena Kandasamy got released last year and I added it to my TBR immediately since it is a semi-autobiographical account of marital abuse. The author underwent abuse from her husband and this book is a fictionalized version of that. I had never read a book on domestic violence and considering this was by an Indian author, I was even more intrigued. What made me finally pick this book was the fact that this book got short listed to 2018 Bailey’s prize for women’s fiction. Link for the shortlist. I only saw positive reviews for this book everywhere and that made me pick it up.
So recently we were discussing about that controversial movie Padmavati or Padmavat or whatever they are calling it now. I do not agree with the fact that one should burn buses or whatever to protest. I did not watch the movie and never will. But I couldn’t not agree with people when they said historical events were misrepresented. Bollywood movies these days are full of nonsense. The prevailing theme is romance and everything else in the movie revolves around romance. Why is romance the central focus of every single movie?
We are living in 21st century and I still have to explain people why we need feminism. *Super face palm* Women associate feminism with man bashing and keep saying I am not a feminist.
I finally got hold of “Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and finished reading it in one sitting. I was not sure if it would be helpful to me considering how I am trying to a raise a boy. But I could not be more wrong. There are many points that she makes which are relevant to boys too. Whether you are raising a boy or a girl, do read this book. I loved it. I think every parent in this world should read this book.
I have always disliked conflicts. I try hard to please people, to not make enemies out of others and want to be friendly with anyone and everyone. And this has been the cause of my doom. People take me for granted, think that no matter how much they harm me, I am going to silently tolerate every crap they throw at me. I am at a point in my life where I dislike this quality of mine. I would like to stand up for my own beliefs and not have my mom stand up for my sake and take a bad name. Every time I face an issue, I run to my mom and make her fix things for me. In the process, she takes a bad name. I wish I had the courage to stand up for myself and tell the person directly about what I did not like.
Is a girl modern only if
– she chooses to sleep with any man she wants
– she wears skimpy clothes
– she hits bars and pubs and drinks
– is aware of the current fashion trends and likes wearing makeup
What if a girl
– just wants to earn her own living and not be dependent on others
– wants freedom to choose whether to be religious or not
– does not want to belong to in-laws (and let them make decisions for her) and wants to make her own decisions in life
– wants freedom to read books, watch latest movies, gossip with girlfriends and listen to western music
– does not like wearing Sarees but does not want to wear mini skirts or bikini either
– is modern in her thinking
– is modern enough to follow current musical trends or movies or books
– is a nerd and wants to study/learn instead of going to beauty parlors
– is not interested in latest fashion and makeup
– is not interested in cooking, even though elders dictate that it is her job
– is interested in gadgets, gizmos, science and technology like most men are
Is she is not a modern girl? Who is a modern girl? How do you define who is modern and who is not?
I see books based on modern women (*cough* *One Indian girl*) focusing only on her choice to choose men or her choice to drink. There is so much more to a modern girl.
“First children tend to be a choice parents make to fulfill their own lives and a second child tends to be a choice parents make to fulfill the life of their existing child.” – from book “One and Only” by Lauren Sandler.
Ever since I became pregnant with my baby, people have been advising me about how I should plan for another kid. I am getting free advice on how my son will end up becoming lonely, selfish blah blah. I even saw women advocating other women to have more children on some mummy forums. I am an only child and I am really happy that I don’t have a sibling. I got my parents’ undivided attention, still get their complete attention and love which people with siblings don’t always get (some do get).