Married or Single

I recently saw a TV talk show which had some single girls and some married girls on it. I couldn’t control laughing when one of the married ones said this – “Women were created by God in order to take care of their husbands and kids. This was the reason why Eve was sent with Adam – to take care of him” and she criticized those who were single saying their life was incomplete without a man. Let me tell you – she was not a desi lady from a remote village. She was not an Indian at all! I was wondering if this lady was in her right mind! But I guess lot of women and men still think like that. That women are meant for sitting at home and taking care of kids. I am not a feminist but I have seen most of my friends changing after getting married.
wedding-couple-cartoon

They think they have no right to do those things which they did when they were unmarried – like hanging out with girlfriends, reading books, succeeding in their career, spending quality time with friends and family(other than their husband). They kind of think that their life is all about husband and kids. We are in the 21st century and people still think like this ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I cant believe! Why don’t women think that they need to have a career of their own, have independence to do everything they want to do in life? Most of them think that their ultimate goal in life is to get married. They are least interested in anything else. Such women don’t have any ambitions in life. They don’t think that they should achieve something in their life on their own. And then they freak out if their husbands don’t have time for them. They blame their husbands for neglecting them if their husband wants to spend some time with his family/friends or is stuck at work.

I don’t think it is wrong to get married early in life. I have seen my school friends who got married right after graduation or when they were about to get graduated and now have kids! I sometimes wonder, what can you do in life after having a kid? You spend your entire life in nurturing it, making sure it gets good education etc. Is there any time left to enjoy your own life? to do the things that you want to do? And then there are some people who think a girl who is single is cursed or something. I would say that a single girl has the maximum independence – she can wear what she wants, she can cook and eat whenever she wants, hang out with any of her friends anytime she wants, works and earns her own money and spends the money on whatever she wants. She does not need anybody’s permission to do something. I have seen many of my friends who cancel plans to meet friends because their would-be/husband had different plans.

I would suffocate and die in such a relationship. I really need MY space!! One of my friend and I swore that we will not become victims to this marriage prison, that we will continue enjoying our life the way we do right now.

Single/Married – One should have time for himself/herself, to do what he/she “likes” to do. Life does not revolve in and around marriage. Marriage is just a stage in life. Learn to spend some quality time with your friends/parents as well.

What are your views about this?

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59 thoughts on “Married or Single

  1. Exactly !

    Another aspect of it being such an important thing in India is that girls are never given the sort of attention even at home all their lives as compared to, say, a brother.

    Marriage is the only time when such girls find themselves to be the center of all attention which probably is the only such time in their entire lives. So, no wonder they want to grab the opportunity with both hands.

    This can only change once we start giving the girl child her due !

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  2. Actually it has nothing to do with feminism or ambition.
    It is pure and core laziness. C’mon, sit home, watch TV and eat for free…

    if someone tells me, that I have to take care of my wife this way… i will love it…:P

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    • Not exactly. I know lot of women who wanted to do something in life but because of the pressure from society end up cleaning vessels at home. In fact, women are more hard working than men ๐Ÿ˜› Men are the ones who are lazy.

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    • thats correct…… I too accept that….. what a life..sitting at home before computer..updating blogs often…lol..

      actually each have their own views upon their life. we cannot say what this women thinks is correct and what the other says is wrong.

      everyone is right and perfect in their own point of view. So we must appreciate each one’s views upon life… see what is wrong to you is right for the married lady.. now who is right and who is wrong? there is no answer and nothing called right or wrong… those are just their views and opinions…

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  3. Ah the age-old debate !!

    I was surprised that a non-Indian shared views that woman’s sole aim in life is the holy matrimony.

    As for my views, I blank out when someone asks me about this ๐Ÿ˜€ It shapes up differently for different folks I guess.. As long as one is clear about their priorities, its fine. I don’t know how it works out for women who choose to let their lives revolve around that of their husbands’..but then, we live in a crazy world ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  4. //Women were created by God in order to take care of their husbands and kids. This was the reason why Eve was sent with Adam โ€“ to take care of him//

    ow ! sounds rigth from Indian TV serials ! but then people with such thoghts do exists ! But I am happy they are part of fast extincting group!

    Well, I agree with you that Marriage is just a stage in life. The important idea is to retain one’s individuality within the bond of marriage.

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  5. balance is the key – my opinion, in case of friends and family and parents…a family is made of a husband, a wife and child/children.. we all have equal responsibilities there… career is very important, no doubt, but at the same time, when u decide to have a child, then one of you will have to compromise for a few years on ur career…cos the other person is also doing his duty of a breadwinner…have children later, build ur career first, but when u have them, devote some time to them…

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  6. well my views are quite the same as urs in this.. though i feel marrying late is better..anyways for the sake of argument… if a girl feels she was born to serve her men,is happy doing that and advocates it to others coz shes happy doing it..who are we to question it..to her ,her own..free

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  7. I hope that you are able to stay the way you want to!!!

    I had similar views but then had to give in to the wishes of my parents! Unfortunately our society isn’t mature enough to let ppl live the way they want to!!!

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  8. I kinda disagree…

    It’s the women who set this trend u know. In Indian society, our basic values are still imbibed in us by the mothers usually. It’s the way our mothers bring us up… the female child gets water for the Dad after he returns home from office, not the male child. If there are guests, the daughter is asked to help out in the kitchen. Very rarely u’ll find a home where mothers ask sons to help out in the kitchen if they have a daughter around! Females are setting these notions in our minds, ‘coz fathers are rarely home for this kinda training. Of course, exceptions are there… but I’m just talking abt the majority of families in India.

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  9. Marriage is a stage in life agreed but the longest stage as well (at least for many) and it means additional responsibilities n new relations as well
    …and when inside it people tend to prioritize.

    I would say choose your partners wisely so that one need not change…balance it out as Neha said, and squeeze in everything

    Cheers!!

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  10. You know what what you said in the post is what surprised me when I came across such women myself and all of them educated and some were working …. like people above have said I think after marriage women realize the priorities and do think its their job to take care of their men and children but Like Neha said you need to strike a balance. You see I come from a part of the country were women have been working & managing a family from our parents generation so their daughters naturally would know how to do it having seen their mothers do it…

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    • Yeah you guys are misinterpreting me. I am not telling dont feed your kids or kick your husband. Taking care of husband is obviously a girl’s duty but I feel there is more to life than just that. Life is not just about husband and kids. Just my opinion

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  11. I was shit scared before planning to get marriage for this very reason!!
    But if you have an understanding wife and more importantly if you yourself are understanding then there should be no reason that you can live happily ever after!!!!!!
    ๐Ÿ™‚
    Its a wonderful feeling to get married!!!!
    Go!!!! fall in love!!!!!

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  12. Though I rarely comment on any site except those of ITs but felt a strong urge to comment here. Personally as a male , I believe, marrying; falling in love etc etc is just crap (personal opinion|) and there are better aspects to look after in this life rather than devoting yourself in fringes of relationships.
    PS: It’s my personal view-point and I enjoy my life being elusive with all this. I’m still a teenager.

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  13. There is a place and need for everything..but the way I see the girls around me..breaking families for slightest things and being rude and lazy..not wanting to cook at all and all that, i dont think freedomm to them to do whatever they want is doing any good to them or any one else.

    I dont think that if both th e partners are ambitious for their careers in a marriage..it can work…working outside or earning money is not the only big thing…
    marriage itself brings a new dimension to one’s life, so marry only if you want that and all the responsibilities which come with this.

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    • Thanks for visiting ๐Ÿ™‚
      I dont know how this classification of cooking came into existence in our society because neither of the sex is greater than the other.. When women are as good or better than men in every possible field, there is hardly any difference between the two.. just because somebody is born as a girl, she is not cursed.. it does not say that she has to spend the rest of her life cooking and cleaning right? Like Neha said, it’s the responsibility of both husband and wife and not just the wife to take care of the household.

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  14. I have reading the various answers here..
    and I think I must say something (again)..
    human being is a social animal. Right?
    but not everything does he get from he society. In this darwinian world, everyone is forced to compete with every other buddy. A spouse is someone who helps you go through odd times of life. Marriage is not everything if you are strong enough to face the cruel world alone. But it is not possible for most of us.
    About the division of works between male and female, its a pity that people have become a bit too rigid in defining them. But don’t you think it has occurred to almost all facets of life. Man is intelligent animal but he has this habit of giving new meanings to rules and customs of the society.
    OK I WRITE A POST ABOUT THIS…

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    • Thanks RSV.. everyone has misinterpreted what I said here, even you.. my point was
      1. if somebody wants to stay as a single, the society has no right to pass judgements
      2. just because someone is born as a girl, it does not mean she has to spend rest of her life taking care of her husband and kids
      3. Marriage is just a stage in life. It is not everything in life. You did not take birth to get married. There is much more to do in life other than marriage
      Yep do post about this. Let me see what guys think about this ๐Ÿ™‚

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  15. true AK… I second whatever you said above.. there is a life for them after marriage… and they are killing it..

    I think it more to do with the mindset of the society and also once a woman gives birth to a child she takes care of the kid at the younger age and after few years that becomes the routine…

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  16. Hey,
    You wrote on a very tricky subject. What you do with life is all about choices. It does not matter if you are single or married or have kids; if you decide you want to have a career and fun, you will.

    Folks that marry the right person will still maintain their individuality. I know of some parents that have a lot of fun in spite of being busy with raising children. I also know of some people that are single and miserable.

    I strongly believe that we have to make the most out of our situations. I am happy that you are enjoying your single status. Don’t make any pacts now….you can never predict the future.

    Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving that nice message. It made my day.

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    • True Vamsee.. agree with you! some people know how to enjoy their life even after marriage.. maintaining individuality which exactly was my point ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks for dropping in.. Keep posting about more adventurous trips ๐Ÿ™‚

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  17. i think you just poured out everything in your heart.. its a gr8 post.. and i feel the same way you do.
    in my college almost everybody thinks that women are to take care of kids and husband.. and they have nothing else to do after graduation but to get married..i can’t understand why they spend lots of money to educate themselves? so that they could sit in a prison and spend rest of their lives in dark?
    If i have to keep talking about this.. i will be writing an essay!! this is an awesome post

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    • Thanks girlie. Yeah even I dont understand.. what is the point of education? Good to see someone who thinks like me ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ See you got a topic to write a post on.. why dont write a post on it?

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  18. well.. its like this.. every women wont be able to manage the whole thing by herself.. she cant spend quality time on njoyin her life and maintainin her child’s future.. wen she has to decide she obviously goes for the benefit of the child sacrificing her life.. its a necessary and pleasureable sacrifice..

    if u dont wanna get women married.. then how are children gonna come.. am talkin in a totally indian perspective although population is not a problem here.. am assuming tht pple decide on child birth only after marriage.. so if u r gonna take the other case then.. we would have to resort to the american culture where the child is left free after 5 yrs of age.. which implies losing our tradition.. so free.. jus let pple decide their lives on dis..

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    • Agree but what I dont understand is why should only women have to sacrifice? She will sit at home looking after kids (without even talking to her girlfriends or parents), while her husband hangs out in a bar with his boyfriends. Do you think this is a very fair system? I am saying balance out both. Get married, have kids and still enjoy your life. Have some time for yourself. I have seen some people who forget their own parents, after marriage. Their parents are desperate to see their daughter but she is not bothered.
      P.S: I am not saying dont get married. I am saying it’s not wrong to not get married.

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  19. There are advantages and disadvantages of both being single and being married to someone.

    At the end of the day, the more responsibilities and challenges people take up, the better they would become as a person and citizen. The responsibilities can range from having a successful career to bringing up a kid (both are equally tough)… it was just that women were better at the latter and men were hopeless at it, that the society opted for such a system. Not because women cannot be successful in careers!

    Destination Infinity

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  20. Really I was surprised to know about that woman.Whoa.But I guess,whatever you do you should hold on to something important-YOU.You are nothing if you don’t have what it makes you-you any more.

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